Why Don’t They Just Leave?
Meiva Vuniwai
The problem of Domestic Violence (DV) goes beyond just physical violence. It's a major public health concern, becoming more prevalent every day, and sadly, for most of us, it is happening inside our own homes. Statistics have shown that more women are experiencing abuse and violence in their homes and at the hands of their partners. Fiji Women's Crisis Centre revealed that 90 percent of women don’t report DV and in the past few days, Fiji has heard and read tragic stories of women getting murdered by their own partners.
When some of us become easily frustrated with victims when they choose to go back to their violent partner, we must remember that DV is more than just physical and verbal abuse. To tell a woman who is a victim of DV to leave their partner is easier said than done. Please understand that they are at war with psychological trauma caused by the physical and emotional abuse they experience from their partners. This emotional abuse is often caused by continuous insults, degradation and disregardment of their emotions, and can be compiled by sexual and financial abuse, and so on. This leads to low self-confidence and self-esteem among women. Please understand that these women are fighting against mental health issues like trauma, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and suicidal thoughts.It takes a different level of bravery to find the strength to leave their abusive relationship and to LEAVE FOR GOOD, which is why we need to engage with all DV victims with empathy first.
As a society we must all take responsibility in looking after the safety of our women, we must ensure that we nurture an environment where women do not have to fear violence at the hands of men or their partners. To those who are abusing women or anyone for that matter, please know that the long arm of the law will catch up with you. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but the day when it finally does, I pray that you will face the full wrath of the consequences of your actions.
We must ensure that we raise our sons and daughters to be kind and teach them that using force or violence is never okay. It is equally as important that we as adults are empathic towards DV victims and understand that DV is more than just physical and verbal abuse.
Please join Melanesian Women Today in speaking up against violence against women. Let’s work together towards a nation, society, and region where women feel safe and protected.